


Junkrat: I need Healing!

by egreed



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Funny, Junkrat is a Little Shit, Multi, Other, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8117848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egreed/pseuds/egreed
Summary: So that's why everyone is joking about Mercy and Roadhog being married...





	

Ragged and brusied, everyone returned to Watchpoint Gibraltar for debriefing. As Athena reviewed footage of battle, highlighting well executed strategies, Junkrat nudged his bodyguard, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hey mate, got a surprise for yeh," he tittered.

Roadhog waited impassively in their room. A surprise could mean anything from somebody else's garbage to loot he'd picked up on the latest mission while nobody was looking. 

Junkrat leaned against the door frame wearing Mercy's standard uniform, stolen from her room.

"This is a bad idea, Jamison."

"Oh come on, just a quick tussle. Ain't nobody gonna notice!" he said, closing the door. The uniform was already filthy, some of the feathers crooked. "'Sides, I think it suits me."

Roadhog massaged his temples. This wasn't going to end well. He could feel it in his gut. His boss was wiggling around trying to entice him, but only managing to look like an idiot. Who knew when this scheme crept it's way into that rad-mad brain of his.

"Just a moment, I think I left it in my other uniform," they heard Mercy say, tiny footsteps breezing past their room.

There it goes.

"Oi Hog ya gotta hide me. Just...stand there. Act casual." Roadhog stared from behind his mask, wanting no part in what Junkrat was about to bring upon himself. He settled in the corner on his bed, pointing himself away from Junkrat.

They could hear Mercy stomping towards them.

"D-don't come in! I'm naked!" Junkrat hollered in a panic. She slammed the door open in a graceful rage. Some of the other members of Overwatch were coming to see what the commotion was.

"What do you think you're doing?" she screamed at him.

"Oh come on! It's not like you don't make use a' what ya got! 'Ooh ooh! Rain your justice on mee'" he taunted. Hanzo poked his face in first, turning cherry red as he tried to hold in his laughter.

Mercy's white hot silence continued as she shook in fury and humiliation. Junkrat switched tactics.

"Oh come on it's just a joke!" 

She backed out without breaking eye contact, closing the door.

"So...about that tussle?"

"One of these days I'm going to leave you."

 

Things weren't going well this mission. Not for Jamison, anyway. Payload nearly delivered, everyone was pushing it towards its destination except him. He was dancing as bullets rained down on him.

One shot barely missed it's mark, blossoming on his shoulder as he used his concussion mine to try to escape. Flying over a wall, he tried to find a place to hide. The world was tinged with red as he shuddered and wheezed, whimpering. 

He could hear footsteps getting closer and closer to him. This is it. This was how he died. Where was that damned pig when he needed him?

Mercy turned the corner, sauntering towards him. Her eyes were wide and wild.

"Oi 'm glad you're here. Seriously. I could really use some help."

Her eyes flitted to something behind them. The sniper for Talon was scoped in, ready to deliver the killing blow. Unable to move, he closed his eyes, but instead of the sound of the world ripping apart he heard the familiar jingle of heavy chains. 

"Come here!" Roadhog bellowed, ripping her away by the waist and finishing her with a close-range blast from the scrap gun. Mercy had already left.

"Roadie! 'M fallin' apart here! Give me a puff of that hogdrogen!"

Roadhog wordlessly picked him up and brought him to the payload, which had already been delivered. Everyone was packing up, ready to head back to the base, and all Junkrat could do was pitifully call out, "I need healing!"

**Author's Note:**

> It all jokes here. Just some funny garbage I thought of when I heard Blizz say that Mercy and Roadhog were together.


End file.
